My poor George. He really is a trooper and a saint and deserves WAY better than me. He has been amazing through the entire pregnancy (well…except that part where he called me stoopid for being hormonal and crying because, according to him, pregnant women don’t FEEL self-loathing…they’re only ‘posed ta cry about the color of PAINT in the BABY’S room).
Yes. Yes, he did. (Don’t worry - we had a long talk and he’s…well…BETTER now.)
Anyway, I’ve had way more moments than he has. Truly. Not only has he done, literally, EVERYTHING? As in dishes, cleaning, dog care, errands, won’t let me lift anything, laundry, you name it? He’s also spent every single weekend since August remodeling the whole house. He’s been AMAZING. In every way you could think of and then more you wouldn’t dream of. I am seriously blessed ‘n lucky ‘n all that good shit.
I yam.
So when you add to all that the fact that sometimes my hormones just go all wonky and I become a bitch? Even when I KNOW how awesome-sauce my George is?? Ugh. I just feel wretched. I think of how much he’s had to put up with, with me ‘n my hormones and other preggo-related stuffs and I just can’t stand it. If my hands hadn’t been so destroyed throughout the better part of the pregnancy, I’d have shared more of it with you, but at least right now, I can tell you about one apology he deserves (though, to be sure, there are hundreds). In addition to him having to deal with (read: “choosing to,” let’s be honest…cause most men would’ve commenced w/beating my skull in by this point) the fact that my hormones have suddenly “helped” me decide that things that have been funny to us for the last, ohhhh, decade? Mmmmm…not so frickin’ funny anymore. I’ve actually found myself waggling my finger at him and raising one eyebrow in Angry Bitch Mode while asking “ohhhh, I’m sorry…is that SAR.CASM there? Is THAT whatcher DOIN there Mr. Smarty-Pants? Mr. Funny Man??”
Yes. Yes I have. I doubt it makes him feel better to know how awful I feel about my behavior later, in spite of others telling me that at least I have the decency to feel bad, even if it’s later. And how some women are like that ALL the time and wouldn’t even dream of feeling bad, let alone apologizing. So …at least there’s that, they say. And I hope that makes him feel …well…if not *better* then at least…less like stabbing me in the buhjina.
So today’s much-required apology:
I’ve been craving sushi. Particularly the sushi from my favorite Certain Sushi Place. But let’s start off by having me admit that my beloved “sushi”? Is…not “really” sushi. It’s the Las Vegas roll. Which means avocado, cream cheese, rice, and…maybe a sliver of fake crab meat. Topped with a wee bit of spicy “Yummy Yummy Sauce” (hey, THEY call it that…not me). And honey-chile? It = DI-VINE. Ohhh god it’s good. I’ve only had it a few times this pregnancy, for various reasons, but for the last month or so I’ve been craving it INSANELY. And as the pregnancy winds down to its close (six days left to go! woot!), I’ve been wanting it even more, because I know how long it will be before we’re able to go again (at least 2-3 months, at best) and this makes Gracie verrrry sad. So I would mention it occasionally when we’d be discussing where to have dinner (we’re getting it out of our systems now, all the Eating Out stuffs, since, well…DUH). But I wouldn’t bring it up all the time, despite my great desire, because it’s pretty far away. In fact, it’s less than a mile from where George works and on a weeknight? There’s no WAY I’d make him come all the way home, then drive aaaaall the way back out there, just so I can eat fake sushi, yanno? I mean, we could meet there, but our hours are so different that it would still be a ginormous inconvenience for him (and yes, he is great enough that he would still agree to do it if I asked, but…that’s kinda why I …don’t).
But today? Today I became worse-than-usual-Preggo-twat. Today I had this grand idea. It started when George forgot to bring his lunch today. And…wonder of wonders, I actually had two seconds of clear thought before I left the house today to check the fridge to SEE if he forgot his lunch. And…wouldn’t ya know it, he did. It was spaghetti. With my homemade sauce (which, I have to just tell you? Is friggin awesome). So…well…I took it. I mean, it’s not like it was going to get up and drive to HIM, right? And we work so far apart, it’s not like I could even bring it to him (nor would he ever dream of driving back just to get it, much as he lurrrvs my sauce), so…*shrugs* SOMEONE should benefit, right?
So he IMs me later and tells me that he forgot it. I acknowledge that I saw that and…that I had taken it. He became quite upset w/me until I reminded him that I only took it AFTER his dumb ass had forgotten it. He allowed that that was true, but …still wounded him. But he was still good natured about it.
Somehow that conversation inspired me to offer the suggestion of meeting for sushi and then going to the movie theater around the corner from Certain Sushi Place to see *whispering in deference to Huge Jackman* Wolverine. I felt this was an utterly BRILLIANT idea.
He was less enthused about the idea for two reasons. 1) it’s opening weekend for the movie. This means that people who we hate on a regular basis? Will be ten times as many and ten times as BAD (as in behavior) at the theater; 2) apparently he already had PLANS to go to favorite-certain-sushi-place with friends next week. Ohhh, that’s right. without ME.
Clearly this was unacceptable and I proceeded to sweetly explain why.
George: Well since I”m meeting B and C at Certain Sushi Place on Monday for lunch I’d rather not eat there twice in one day. But I guess I can go to the movie.
Gracie: GASP@!
Gracie: YOU are going to Certain Sushi Place WITHOUT me?!
Gracie: AUGH!
George: Blame B, it was his idea
Gracie: i don’t care
Gracie: i’ve wanted to go there for months
Gracie: and i’ve been just waiting for you to agree
Gracie: and now you go without me??
Gracie: sniff
George: Oh please, you’ve only mentioned it this week.
Gracie: i won’t be able to go again till summer
Gracie: um…NO
George: Um.. yeah
Gracie: i’ve been mentioining it for a long time cause i’ve been craving it
Gracie: whatever
Gracie: have fun. i’ll just go on my own
George: Don’t be a snot, I jsut don’t want to go monday. I can go tonight.
George: BRB
George: sorry, some folks have 0 clue.
George: So do you want to meet there tonight after your appointment?
Gracie: no, no. i can just see if “T” wants to go or something. it’s ok
George: Yeah if her and “P” want to meet up tonight that’s fine with me.
Gracie: i meant alone. Or just me and her. Not everyone. you don’t need to do it twice. seriously. it’s ok.
George: It’s fine. not a big deal. if you want to go there tonight it’s fine with me.
Gracie: ok
See? See how long that took? And how I was just ridiculously and unnecessarily bitchy? Even beyond when I should have let it go, when he was trying to be nice and agreeing to go even when he really didn’t want to? Just to be a good guy? And how I was still all “no, no…it’s OKAY…I can go ALOOOONE”-ish??
Yyyyeah. I’m not proud.
So please, help my George understand that he doesn’t have to kill me or hate me or divorce me, even (though he’s free to rough me up a bit, cause…well…I deserve it cause some wimmins jus’ don’t listen). Seriously, though…y’all have to help him realize that this = just temporary and that he is my lobster and he is a great guy and I adore him and that I will so so SOOO be a better person ‘n wife in just a coupla days once the baby comes.
No really.